Traw Radio: Shameless Self Promotion!

And on a blog of all places!

Anyway, if you’re around the internets tonight at 8:00 EST, head over to WHFR, click on “listen now,” which will open a streaming mp3 in your music player of choice, and check out ALL CAPS with yours truly, DJ Hunnyknux.

New shit from Hot Chip, Boris, and Pete Rock along with old shit from James White, KMD, and Gomez.

Ok, and cause I’m a hipster douchebag, Vampire Weekend, too.

ALL CAPS, now and forever, or at least now, alternating Wednesdays at 8:00

FUN!

Friday Fun: I’m Smarter than MENSA! And so are you!

It’s official

I mean, come on. You’re telling me Geena Davis thinks C.S.Motherfucking.I. is smarter than The Simpsons or The Wire or Arrested Development or INSERT NAME OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN FUCKIN’ C.S.I.?

Boston LEGAL? Top ten EVER?

The exclusion of C.S.I. Miami is the greatest crime of all.

Friday Fun: The Japanese Have Too Much Free Time

I thought about filling this space with a brief bit of amateur psychoanalysis regarding the Mystery Man in my office who keeps leaving printouts of the Washington Post online sports section in the bathroom stall, but it’s 7 PM and I’ve still got another 24 oz. tallboy of Bud to down before I leave, so I’m not in any position to speculate as to who really needs to read the local take on the Wizards that badly.

So instead, enjoy a composite video of 134 attempts at a fucking impossible video game:

SalesGenie Leaps Headlong Into the 1950s

Well, Super Bowl Sunday came and went, so what do you figure everyone’s talking about around the old cooler today?

Is it the timely end of the Patriots run at perfection?

The play-of-a-lifetime catch made by David Tyree?

The fact that a wine-sipping Giselle in the luxury boxes somehow found a way to make New England seem even MORE evil?

Or, is it this:

I mean, far be it from me to be a PC thug, but how fucking stupid do you have to be to think that running this ad is a good idea?

In related news, this was the worst batch of Super Bowl ads in recent memory. If you work in advertising, please contact me so I can understand why you make so much more money than I do, and then give it to me. The money, that is.

Traw Sighting! Smoke’em if You Got’em

As I continue my battle with quitting smoking, Traw Friend King Grandiosity has found one such Traw with no such compunctions.

Inconveniently, he’s disabled embedding of his video.  Traws are known for fiercely protecting their privacy.  I can still link to him though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCqGVTWE4_o&feature=related

More of the Mattraw family line and uglier than most, this Traw smokes hard.  Still, all things considered, ich bin impressed!

Seriously though, what’s with that dudes ears? 

Who Is Your Daddy and What Does he Do?

I had to tussle with posting this, but the comedy wins out over the politics.

Behold as Mitt Romney gets pwned by his son (and campaign employee), Matt.

I love it!  I still can’t get over how much funnier life in California is due to the simple fact that whenever you pass by a public works sign, it says GOVERNOR ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER.

Movie Review: Rambo

In a phrase, “super fucking violent”. I left the movie theater at 11:01pm and let out my last bewildered chuckle at about 11:29pm.

Skip to 2:00 and expect a lot of stuff like this if you go see the flick.

Good for: people who laugh at extreme violence, self-righteous missionaries who need to be taught a lesson, wigged out lost soldiers who need a reason to go home

Bad for: most women, dates, people who can’t appreciate the duality of life and death as examined through the scope of a .50 caliber sniper rifle as a guard’s head is blown in two

Jay Mohr: Pioneering the ‘F’ List

In perhaps one of the most mind-boggling viral marketing campaigns of all time, TurboTax has teamed with Jay Mohr to create TaxLaugh.com. (I refuse to link it on the principle of it being stupid.) I will, however, let you sample the comic delights as seen on Youtube.

Honestly, I got exactly as far as him saying “the grim reaper is coming. Ahhhhh!!!” before giving up. Maybe you’ll do better.

What I really want to know is WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, JAY MOHR? You went from featured player on Saturday Night Live to being Jerry Maguire’s nemesis Bob Sugar to being a funny gay dude in Go to The Jim Rome Show to Are We There Yet? to Last Comic Standing to THIS?

JAY, YOU’RE PROMOTING A FUCKING TAX COMPUTER PROGRAM ON YOUTUBE!

I mean, I’m not crazy about Jay Mohr or anything, but how can this happen to a career that once showed such promise? Good looking dude, reasonably funny, acted in films by Cameron Crowe and Doug Liman. Now doing bad stand up for a TurboTax online promotion. Kathy Griffin has more self-respect than that, I think. There’s probably a really good chance she turned down this very offer.

It’s gotta be heroin. Is it heroin, Jay? Not you too. Sigh…

Traw West Presents Baby Names that Kick Ass

This year, Christmas was at my sister’s place in Texas. This wouldn’t be so exceptional, excepting that she and her husband were just blessed with their first son. His name is Tanner Clifton Streigle and this is what he looks like:

I really like his robe. Sadly, his parents are New England Patriots fans, so once he understands words, I’ll have to do something about that. It’s my uncle-y duty.

Anyway, I found out last night that my brother knocked up his wife! Good for them and big congrats. I know my sister-in-law has been wanting a kid — especially since my sister-proper already had one. Nothing like a little competition to expand a family. Have I mentioned that all these people are younger than me? Crazy kids havin’ kids. Make me feel like a resigned old bachelor and I’m only 26.

Anyway, my bro and I had a long conversation about baby names last night. Honestly, I like where their collective head is at with that whole thing. But still, I wanted to come up with some naming ideas that would be a little out of the box. Just to give them some more options, you know?

Forget Pilot Inspector, Apple and Kyd. Blech. This is how I roll.

BOYS

• Thunk – the ultimate name for a big lug of a boy-child; will end up an offensive lineman for the Atlanta Falcons
• Governor – you want a kid with leadership potential? Plus, sounds great with a goofy British accent
• Crash – good name if you want a crazy kid who is really funny about breaking shit
• Mad Jack – why would you fuck with someone named Mad Jack?
• Dagger – because your name is Dagger

GIRLS

• Disclaima – with attitude like that, she should definitely come with one
• Cosine – demand excellence in math by blessing her with name that practically assures it
• Ember – “Amber” is for narcs; Ember will burn yo’ ass
• Amuse-Bouche – hah hah hah… hah.
• Pegasus – sure, it seems a little masculine, but there has to be a woman out there for “Dagger”

That was fun. Hopefully my brother and his wife will find something they like on this list (doubtful). And look for my son, Thunk Martin Shatraw, to be starting for the New York Mets by 2038.

Any of y’all have some good namin’ ideas?

Darth Charger

You’ll have to excuse the poor quality of this pic, but is it just me or did the San Diego Charger’s Landainian Tomlinson bear an uncanny resemblance to Darth Vader in yesterday’s whimper-ific loss against the New England Patriots.

I wish you could see the detail on the mask better.

The force was not with the Chargers yesterday, I’ll tell you that.  Anytime you kick 4 field goals in a game without scoring a touchdown, you pretty much suck.  You know what did happen though?

GO GIANTS!

More on the Pats Giants Superbowl at a later time.

Pats suck.  I mean, they’re really awesome, but they’re huge fucking pricks.