In case you haven’t heard by now, Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. Here’s her dossier for perusal:
- Star of Nickelodeon’s Zoey 101
- Sister of internationally-known skank Britney Spears (probably with child herself… or married secretly… or something)
- Collects porcelain dolls
- Was born April 4, 1991
For those of you good at math, you realize that this chick isn’t even a chick yet. She’s a 16 year old kid. I guess she really really liked the movie Juno. I did too. But I didn’t knock up any teenagers just to prove it.
You know, on second thought, I think she’s ready to be a mother. Yeah. She looks ready.
A hilarious account of this story can be perused at Egotastic.
Contrary to what some may think, I actually like America — y’know, conceptually. But it’s this kind of shit that makes me ashamed to show my face in any other nation on the planet. Even Canada. You’d think with all the influence and money the dipshit Spears sisters wield, it would behoove them to act responsibly, contribute to social causes and overall make the world a better place. But why bother when it’s just easier to fuck and add more idiots to our gene pool.
Y’know, all cynicism aside, this child will most likely be raised in a stable, loving environment with all the privileges it could ever need, all the while blessed with a sober and functioning mother-father unit.
HA! I’m just fucking with you. This kid is screwed.
