You know what sucks when it happens to you but is hilarious when it happens to someone else? No, it’s not prison rape like most of you are thinking. It’s not herpes either. Christ, what’s wrong with you people?
I was talking about stepping on a land mine.
Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about! DOG SHIT LAND MINES!
But wait, there’s more to this post than a picture of poo. According to our friends “the professionals” at www.wxii12.com, some dude got totes busted for drunk driving because the cops followed a trail of dog poop. That’s right. Josue Herrios-Coronilla crashed his black Camaro (nice dude) into the yard of Bill “Old” McDonald. Well, McDonald is a pet lover, you see, owner of 4 dogs. So when the inebriated Josue hopped out of the black Camaro (seriously dude, rawk), he landed squarely in a hunking pile of dog poo — i.e. a “land mine.”
Josue, of course, bails, but the cops show up and follow the stinking trail of shit to a van coming down the street. The cop halts them and inside they find ‘Sway, sadly separated from his black Camaro (tell me it was this one) and shoes stinking of dog shit. I can’t believe whoever was driving that van didn’t fucking smack him for that shit.
Hey, what’s with the quick getaway, Josue? It’s not like the cops weren’t gonna figure out whose black Camaro (I’m picking that shit up at police auction) by checking your always hilarious license plate number.
Anyway, I think this should serve as a lesson to all you bitchfaces who are all like “curb your dog, jackass, or I’m calling the cops.” MY DOG IS THE COPS, NARC. Its shit makes it safe for you to walk the streets at night!
Sigh. I don’t really have a dog. But if I did, I would use this incident as an excuse not to clean up after it.
January 11, 2008 at 8:49 pm
As usual, you skillfully skirt the shores of horrendously bad taste to give us … oh! … regular bad taste! Poop!
You get’cherself them doggies there, Shatraw. You start yourself a dog farm and, just like the industrious Vo Thanh Phong, maybe you can start yourself your own shit-powered company (see: http://vietnamnews.vnagency.com.vn/showarticle.php?num=02AGR070707).
January 12, 2008 at 1:31 am
i do love skirting the shores of horrendously awful taste. although i think i crossed it with that jessica alba post a whiles back. i don’t think i have any women readers anymore. c’est la vie.
January 13, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I just read that again and I don’t see anything particularly objectionable. The truth is, from a career standpoint, you’re right — babies is not going to help her acting career (unless Reed Richards knocks her up in the next FF movie). As far as your fantasies regarding impregnating her yourself? It’s comically unreasonable. I find it unlikely you lost female readers because of your super-son daydreaming. MY guess is that you had no female readers to begin with. Women are pigs, Shatraw, they want us for our bodies and care not for our thoughtful thoughts and wry humor.